Skip to content

The Free Peach

Everything Your Relatives Fear About Berkeley

Posted on May 10, 2026 by: Ellie Shaps

Missing Home? Situationship Calls You Mommy for Mother’s Day

  • Home
  • News
  • Opinion
  • UC Berkeley
  • Blog
  • Join Us!
  • Staff
  • Contact

Tag: crimes

Posted on March 15, 2022April 14, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

8 “Crimes” the Woke Mob Will Cancel You For

1. Arson
Man’s built it for millennia, but now broken society says fire has to stay in a designated area. What would you even call that? A “fire place?” Look who sounds stupid now. 

Continue Reading
Posted on November 20, 2021 by: Tyler Goldstein

“Strong” Armed Robber Can’t Even Open Taco Bell Cantina Door

BERKELEY, Calif. — Notorious strong-armed robber Burlap Sachs was arrested this evening while struggling to open the door to the Taco Bell Cantina on Durant …

Continue Reading

Search

Top Posts & Pages

  • 20 Signs Your Berkeley Boyfriend Jerks Off to a Picture of Elon Musk
    20 Signs Your Berkeley Boyfriend Jerks Off to a Picture of Elon Musk
  • Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
    Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
  • Waldo, of "Where’s" Fame, Not Found Anywhere, Presumed Dead
    Waldo, of "Where’s" Fame, Not Found Anywhere, Presumed Dead
  • Opinion: I’m Leaking Coffee Shop Bathroom Codes and Don’t Give a Crap
    Opinion: I’m Leaking Coffee Shop Bathroom Codes and Don’t Give a Crap
  • Alcohol Not Cutting It? 7 Excellent Glues To Huff Tonight, or Really Any Night Following
    Alcohol Not Cutting It? 7 Excellent Glues To Huff Tonight, or Really Any Night Following
  • SUPERB Committees Most Likely to Spit on You (Ranked)
    SUPERB Committees Most Likely to Spit on You (Ranked)
  • UCSF Begins COVID Drug Trial With Those Pills That Turn Into Dinosaurs in Water
    UCSF Begins COVID Drug Trial With Those Pills That Turn Into Dinosaurs in Water
  • Premium Properties Demands Gallon of Cum In Addition To 10k Monthly Rent
    Premium Properties Demands Gallon of Cum In Addition To 10k Monthly Rent
  • Cut DKE Some Slack. I Fucked A Goat and it Wasn’t That Bad (by George Clooney)
    Cut DKE Some Slack. I Fucked A Goat and it Wasn’t That Bad (by George Clooney)
  • Fuck It! We Ranked All The Sororities at Cal Alphabetically!
    Fuck It! We Ranked All The Sororities at Cal Alphabetically!

Our Facebook

Our Facebook
Copyright © 2026 The Free Peach All Rights Reserved | Magpaper by Theme Palace