BERKELEY, Calif – Following TPUSA’s penultimate event on the Berkeley campus, tensions remain at an all time high as peaceful protests quickly devolved into what …
‘Immigration is Out of Control,’ Says Frat Brother Who Terrorized Cabo on Spring Break
CABO SAN LUCAS – Despite spending his spring break actively harassing Cabo San Lucas residents and exploiting all their local resources, Chi Psi brother Mag …
Right-Wing Experts Report Dr. Oz Would Have Had Better Chance of Winning Had He Not Been a Doctor
PHILADELPHIA – As election results came in Wednesday morning to determine whether a renowned TV celebrity, and lesser known doctor, Dr. Oz, would beat John …
Republican Informs Guy Robbing Him He Doesn’t Have to Wear a Mask Anymore
BERKELEY, Calif. — A Republican man robbed at gunpoint earlier today reported that his assailant refused to take off his mask, despite the fact that …
RECALL ELECTION: Just Check This Box That Says No to Not Never Recalling Newsom and Leave This Other Section Completely Blank and Also
Are you happy with Newsom? Yes? No? There are only two questions on the ballot, but each part requires a multi-step highly-personalized validation process, so make sure to evaluate this ballot with care, or you won’t be fulfilling your God-given right to select an elected official. Want another Democratic governor? Sorry! We have eighteen hundred other Republican candidates lined up for the job that will be placed in a Hunger-Games style lottery to fill Newsom’s position should the election go that way, but definitely don’t fill in that part if you’re a Democrat.