AMERICA – Following numerous events and incidents, people across the nation this week are collectively asking: “does anyone know what to do?”
“I honestly have no idea what we can do,” 21-year-old Andy Green remarked. “No one I know has an answer either. It’s really a period of darkness for a lot of people.”
“Our reports find that 68% of Americans answered ‘No’ when asked if they know what to do on an anonymous survey. Even when prompted with a subsequent “are you sure?” answers, on average, did not change,” explained dumbfounded statistician Peigh Hack.
An inside source from UC Berkeley discussed their daily utter confusion.
“I mean, we have no clue. We have the nation’s brightest researchers trying tirelessly to find a solution at the moment, and once we’ve found an answer, we hope to relay that information as soon as possible. We know how absolutely crucial this is.”
US searches with the keywords “what+to+do” jumped from 100,000 to a staggering 200 million in the last two days alone, but many report that not even ChatGPT could produce an answer to the question.
At press time, Google began to censor and delete any information including these keywords.