Berkeley fucks me in a number of ways – the lack of walkable grocery stores, drivers who shouldn’t even be allowed to play Mario Kart let alone drive on actual roads, and rent prices that would make the greediest New York landlord blush, just to name a few. But all of these things, much like the University itself, are consistently screwing me until I can’t take it anymore. They’ve come to be something I can rely on and I’ve been able to reconcile that we will always be in a fraught relationship where only one of us is ever satisfied.
Which is why the weather this week really pissed me off. See, it’s one thing to perpetually keep me in a state of disappointment (like my Australian ex who ironically never went down under), but it’s another to bring me right to the edge of curing my seasonal depression, with sunny weather and warm breezes, before going straight back into gray days and rain and misery. 60 degrees one day, 71 the next, then going down into the 50s with pouring rain but barely staying there long enough for me to get used to being wet before shooting straight back up? I was so, so, so, close, and you pulled out on me. Seriously uncool.
And another thing: this weather is wreaking havoc on my wardrobe. Winter means my thickest sweaters and ugly-ass raincoat since I absolutely refuse to fumble with an umbrella in the wind like a fool, but I want to bust out the sundresses and miniskirts I have in the back of my closet. This is really denying everyone else the pleasure of seeing my cutest fits.
So please, as one desperate student who can’t wait to get off class and relax in the Glade, give me the satisfaction of warm Spring weather. It’s been long enough. I know I speak for the people when I say that this Midterm season, we want a release from the cold already. Come on Berkeley, after all the pain I’ve endured at your hands, don’t you think it’s time to let me have a happy ending?