With Women’s History Month now done, I wanted to share my favorite ways men have displayed their support towards me as a woman. As everyone …
New Matcha Place Surely Better Than Last Four
BERKELEY, Calif. – Riveting news– a new matcha cafe has opened up near the UC Berkeley campus. And this one is different for a specific, …
U.S. Stages Military Intervention in Mexico By Deploying Frat Brothers to Cabo
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico – In efforts to project American freedom, the Trump administration has decided to begin conflict in yet another foreign country albeit …
Berkeley Drops WARNME for Ditto
SAN FRANCISCO BAY, Calif — On a rather chilling evening, to the dismay of all of Berkeley, a tragedy struck once again: Ditto.AI was planning …
Rich Lyons FRAMEMOGGED by JESTERGOONING Cal Frat Leader
Following a serious altercation between protesting students and campus security, Rich Lyons was spotted walk-maxxing with females by SAE when he was brutally framemogged by …
UC Berkeley Announces New Technical DJ Program
BERKELEY, Calif. – Last Thursday, UC Berkeley students were surprised when school administrators announced the new research program (Undergraduate Educational Dance Music, “UEDM”) dedicated to …
Heartbreaking: Ex is Better Off Without You
MIAMI, Fl. – After a crazy night out in Miami, it’s official: your ex is doing sooooo much better without you. The night was so …
Wilcox Still Gets the Axe
BERKELEY, Calif. – In preparation for the Big Game, Chancellor Rich Lyons, General Manager Ron Rivera and 3-time mascot heavyweight champion Oski met with Justin …
Campanile Sagging Totally Normal in Old Age
BERKELEY, Calif — Following another disappointing night, the Campanile is coming to terms with it no longer being as erect as it used to be. …
UC Berkeley Manages to Outdo Utah Valley University
BERKELEY, Calif – Following TPUSA’s penultimate event on the Berkeley campus, tensions remain at an all time high as peaceful protests quickly devolved into what …