WASHINGTON, D.C.– After a stressful day of prompting AI to make racist videos for social media, Epstein associate Donald Trump held a brief press conference in a hot tub aboard Air Force One.
“Mr. President, how does it feel being so amazing and beloved by everyone?” asked a reporter from Truthmaxxinglooksmaxxing Daily after handing Trump a “Free Press” award.
“First of all, I love your smart question, which is really impressive because you are a woman. Now, shut it fatty, because I have a message for all of Canada. You all are woke and gay and your TV show isn’t even as good as you think it is. Actually, it is bad. Yes I saw it, because I am this country’s fearless leader, so I review all possible threats against our glorious nation. It is an abomination, the sweat and muscles and passion, the woke mob is converting you by making you feel sexual things for men! And remember, the only thing stopping them from getting you is that they will have to get through me first. I can take it, in fact I’ve taken it so many times I am the king of taking it. Who among us hasn’t spent a few lonely nights getting topped by a powerful Russian man?”
Unfortunately the press conference ended quite abruptly and we were given no further comment on the above matters.