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Posted on May 10, 2026 by: Jackie Greene

Missing Home? Situationship Calls You Mommy for Mother’s Day

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Author: Jackie Greene

Posted on October 29, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

“Why I Am Not Running for President,” Explains Bob Avakian to Empty Auditorium

BERKELEY, Calif. — All six members of the Revolutionary Communist Party (REVCOM) have flocked to Sproul Plaza in order to campaign for their non-campaigning candidate …

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Posted on October 11, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

Awesome! Protest Against War Crimes Perfect Career Opportunity for Journalism Student

BERKELEY, Calif. — Following a year of Israeli war crimes in Gaza, hundreds of students gathered on Sproul to protest the atrocities committed and UC …

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Posted on October 5, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

“At Least I Was On TV!” Says Student As They Pass Away From Heat Stroke

BERKELEY, Calif. — Proving that Cal students have game once and for all, Saturday marked the first time in history that UC Berkeley appeared on …

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Posted on October 1, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

Fact-Checking the Vance-Walz Vice Presidential Debate

NEW YORK – Following the Trump-Harris presidential debate, where most argue Harris delivered a much better performance, Governor Tim Walz and Senator JD Vance debated …

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Posted on August 20, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

UC President Michael Drake’s “Free Speech Ban” Receives Full Support, Zero Opposition

A HOME YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD, Calif. — After months of encampments protesting Israel’s ethnic cleansing of Palestinians, brother of Michael Josh and …

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Posted on May 1, 2024May 1, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

Sorry! This Article is Under Construction, Please Go Around

BERKELEY, Calif. — Amidst the pandemonium of the final days of class and flocks of visiting families, local adminsiKt5984Fsadk$&3lxjwh[THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. THIS …

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Posted on April 11, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

Finally, a Leader Berkeley Can Count On: This White Man

BERKELEY, Calif. — Wednesday, after Hell froze over, campus administration announced that they have finally selected a successor to take over Carol Christ’s iron throne …

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Posted on February 14, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

NBA Super Star? My Ex Sets a Rebound Record

BERKELEY, Calif. — In a turn of events that has left statisticians scrambling for their calculators, sophomore Duncan Dribblen has officially shattered the world record …

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Posted on January 4, 2024 by: Jackie Greene

UC Berkeley Admin: People’s Park Stands in Way of ‘People’s Park Memorial Hall’

BERKELEY, Calif. — In the middle of the night on Jan. 3rd, campus officials deployed 1400 riot police to initiate long-anticipated plans to construct a …

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Posted on December 4, 2023 by: Jackie Greene

BREAKING: UCDC Interns Who Also Lied On Resumes Stand in Solidarity with Santos

WASHINGTON  — Hundreds of UCDC interns have gathered outside the Capitol building today to protest the expulsion of resume-fabricator role model Rep. George Santos.  One …

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