BERKELEY, Calif. — This midterm season, California voters have been flooded with ads discussing Proposition 40, the 5% tax on billionaires, or as Gavin Newsom …
Friend Shows You Real-Life “Ghost” by Blowing Vape Smoke in Your Face
YOUR APARTMENT, Halloween – It was the night of Halloween, and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even– what the hell …
‘Princess and the Frog’ GONE WRONG: Creature I Kissed Still Fugly and Broke
Look. It was dark. I was newly single. I’d had one too many Vodka Red Bulls. And by one too many… I mean just …
Man Who Uses Seated Veo Scooter Also Pees Sitting Down
BERKELEY, Calif. – Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No. It’s a full-grown man riding a seated scooter at 4 miles an hour. …
SF AI Billboards All Replaced With Scottish Gaelic, Become More Legible
SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. – A parade broke out in San Francisco last Saturday after all AI billboards were replaced with ancient, untranslated Scottish proverbs overnight, …
Stanford Debuts Innovative New DEI Strategy
STANFORD, Calif. — This past week, Stanford University in Palo Alto debuted their newest method of implementing DEI in campus photography– AI. Rather than …
Trader Joe’s Teases New Kosher Line: Trader Jew’s
TRADER JOE’S – On Shabbat, the staple grocery announced its plans to unveil a new line just in time for Yom Kippur: Trader Jew’s. The …
Opinion: I’m Not a Job Hunter, I’m a Job Gatherer
BAY AREA, CALIFORNIA — Well, well, well, yet another summer has come and gone, and I’m still unemployed. Between the dipshits at [Insert AI …
YoPo Reveals New Flavor: Miami Mint Geek Bar
BERKELEY, Calif.–– On Saturday, April 4th, inside sources leaked the plans of a partnership between Yogurt Park and the vape company, Geek Bar. Offering the …
Berkeley Drops WARNME for Ditto
SAN FRANCISCO BAY, Calif — On a rather chilling evening, to the dismay of all of Berkeley, a tragedy struck once again: Ditto.AI was planning …