BERKELEY, Calif.– Japanese professor Manko Wareme was in for a shock Monday, after coming back from the weekend to an irate yet incoherent, poorly-structured, and …
‘Business Business Business,’ Says Wall Street Journal About Something, Probably
NEW YORK CITY – After a series of major shocks involving stocks and banks, financial news outlets are declaring that things have happened with money …
OPINION: Climate Change is Good and Prevents My Seasonal Depression
Every summer for the past few years I have heard the all too familiar phrase: “This summer was the hottest summer on record.” As summers …
New Telegraph Establishment to Sell Experimental Drink ‘Boba’
Berkeley, Calif. –– Telegraph Avenue is no stranger to a continuous turnover of culinary businesses trying to balance extravagant commercial rent and an irritating, bookwormy …
To Those Ordering a ‘Flat White’ at Yali’s: I Am NOT on the Menu
Just as the Campanile bells toll for the start of the hour, caffeine-deprived students far and wide rush to my place of work, the last-standing …
UC Berkeley #1 in Number of Templated Hackathon App Creators Calling Themselves ‘Founders’ on LinkedIn
BERKELEY, Calif. — After routinely residing at the top of reputable rankings lists such as bobsratings.com, BestSchoolz, and InflateMyEgo, UC Berkeley once again leaps ahead …
‘Meow’ and Five Other Responses to ‘Describe a Situation in Which…’
The beginning of a semester brings about many opportunities for new engagements, alongside the avalanche of mandatory applications in its tow. For your ease in …
REPORT: Is This Baby Onto Something? Bro’s Just Tryna Suckle
BERKELEY, Calif. — Cal junior and current SAE pledge Edward “Ed” Opus was witnessed attempting to dap up a newborn in its mother’s arms outside …
Shoes-Off Household Also Apparently No-Vacuuming Household
BERKELEY, Calif.– Fueled by the torrential downpour of returning students, the City of Berkeley has been awash with new apartment arrangements poking up through the …
Five Essay Prompts that Will Make You Say, ‘As an AI Language Model…’
As campus roars back to life, sunbaked and unmotivated students return to the dreaded deluge of bMail notifications. With “Assignment Posted” subject lines nestled between …