All of life’s fleeting joys — sunrises, ripe avocados, silly string, hot chocolate — are mere trifles next to my GPA, the pinnacle of my existence that will undoubtedly be relevant in all areas of my life, forever and always.
Lonely UC Berkeley Seal Just Wants a Hug, or Any Touch Really
As the semester comes to a close, the official UC Berkeley seal outside Moffitt has sadly reported it received no physical contact this past year and that students were actively avoiding it. Though ideally seeking a hug, the seal has stated that even being stepped on by a fresh Reebok would be a pleasurable alternative.