Since the start of this pandemic (or should I say, pandemi–cock-block), our collective capacity for lusting, thrusting, and jammin’ the clam has… well, plummeted. We pitiful, possibly fertile sex-machines are horny as fuck. But rest assured.
“Oh boohoo, the ruler of Mordor is now looking at everything I do,” sarcastically exclaimed sophomore Derrick Quincy. “My TikTok For You Page is clearly based on things I say out loud, and Bcourses can monitor how much time I spend on their website. I clearly don’t have any privacy, why should I care if Sauron is looking at me too? At least he’s upfront and honest about it, unlike everyone else.”