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Berkeley Drops WARNME for Ditto

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Month: May 2021

Posted on May 8, 2021May 12, 2021 by: Tyler Goldstein

Memorial Stadium to Easily Return to Full Capacity Due to Chronic Low Attendance

BERKELEY, Calif. — Even though UC Berkeley has announced that the upcoming fall semester will take place in person, many football fans have been concerned …

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Posted on May 5, 2021May 6, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

If I Don’t Write This Article, Shane Will Do Unspeakable Things to Me

I’ll level with you: I’m new here. This is one of the first things I’ve written for The Free Peach. I’ve been trying but… oh geez is this stuff hard. Here’s the thing: Shane Pauker, our beloved leader, doesn’t take no for an answer. 

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Posted on May 4, 2021September 11, 2021 by: anniebushh

REPORT: Rotting, Maggot-Infested Box On Side Of Road “Definitely Worth Taking A Look At”

Stites has since stated that she doesn’t actually plan to make an effort to go back to look inside the box, citing the fact that she has “too much homework” to walk the two block length today. “Maybe I’ll look tomorrow when I go out to spend half of my weekly allowance on a Strada latte.” 

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Posted on May 3, 2021May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

Classics Department Uncovers Greek Text Containing All of ABBA’s Lyrics

At press time, an engineering student in d’Aulaire’s lecture was playing devil’s advocate for Pierce Brosnan’s Mamma Mia! performance.

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