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Everything Your Relatives Fear About Berkeley

Posted on September 23, 2023 by: Jackie Fenner

To Those Ordering a ‘Flat White’ at Yali’s: I Am NOT on the Menu

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Month: May 2022

Posted on May 14, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Crowd Cheers as Acoustic Guitar Players Fight for Dominance of the Glade

BERKELEY, Calif. — Freshman Maya Whitman was surprised on Wednesday to see that her boyfriend, Michael Fisher, was surrounded by a crowd on Memorial Glade.  …

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Posted on May 13, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

CNR Student Celebrates Graduation by Bidding Final Farewell to the Environment

BERKELEY, Calif. — Conservation and Resource Studies major Clark Morrison celebrated his graduation from the Rausser College of Natural Resources on Sunday by bidding a …

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Posted on May 11, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

“This Is Literally 1984!” Cries Conservative Who Would Prefer to Take Us Back to the Dark Ages

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking but also entirely unsurprising decision, the self-described ‘apolitical institution’ that is the Supreme Court of the United States has …

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Posted on May 6, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Recycling, Compost, Landfill: All End Up in the Mighty Mouth of Korbulon the Destroyer Anyway

BERKELEY, Calif. — Environmental activist groups were shocked to learn that Berkeley’s recycling, compost, and landfill waste bins all end up in the same place: …

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Posted on May 5, 2022May 5, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

Top Ten Pirate Shanties to Listen to This Argh Argh Argh Week

Ahoy, ye blue-and-yellow-bellied scallywags! Argh Argh Argh week is upon us! Lest ye wish to walk the plank, celebrate by belting out these festive shanties …

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Posted on May 4, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Friend With Car Probably Has Other Traits

BERKELEY, Calif. — Although Cal junior Dave Mills is best known for his 2011 Honda Fit (sport model), his friends report that he may have …

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Posted on May 3, 2022May 3, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

Best of Berkeley 2022

Although it’s only May, we feel it is the appropriate time to give recommendations for the best Berkeley sites of 2022. We are incredibly privileged …

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Top Posts & Pages

  • Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
    Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
  • ‘Meow’ and Five Other  Responses to ‘Describe a  Situation in Which…’
    ‘Meow’ and Five Other Responses to ‘Describe a Situation in Which…’
  • To Those Ordering a 'Flat White' at Yali's: I Am NOT on the Menu
    To Those Ordering a 'Flat White' at Yali's: I Am NOT on the Menu
  • Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
    Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
  • UC Berkeley #1 in Number of Templated Hackathon App Creators Calling Themselves ‘Founders’ on LinkedIn
    UC Berkeley #1 in Number of Templated Hackathon App Creators Calling Themselves ‘Founders’ on LinkedIn
  • Report: Arnold's Death On The Magic School Bus Is Responsible For Every Single Teenage & Young Adult Problem
    Report: Arnold's Death On The Magic School Bus Is Responsible For Every Single Teenage & Young Adult Problem
  • Wicked! Professor Puts Meme on Slide About Excused Absences
    Wicked! Professor Puts Meme on Slide About Excused Absences
  • REPORT: Is This Baby Onto Something? Bro’s Just Tryna Suckle
    REPORT: Is This Baby Onto Something? Bro’s Just Tryna Suckle
  • New Roommate Refrigerates Maple Syrup, Which is Fine, I Guess
    New Roommate Refrigerates Maple Syrup, Which is Fine, I Guess
  • Opinion: I Refuse to be Bullied for my Chunky White Filas
    Opinion: I Refuse to be Bullied for my Chunky White Filas

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