BERKELEY, Calif. — Cal students were overjoyed this morning as leaked set list for Soulja Boy revealed his concert will consist of “Kiss Me Through The Phone” followed by three renditions of “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”. Source of the leak, Bea L. Aberrmouth, suspects this 2010 rapper may surprise us all with a “Pretty Boy Swag (10 minute version)” encore as well. 

“My twitter stalking finally paid off!” exclaimed Bea when questioned about her acquisition of Soulja Boy’s biggest project since Obama was in office. “The leaked picture seemed to be a Notes app screenshot from his iPhone 7. Pretty legit stuff. As for the performance, I am most excited to relive my sixth grade dance glory days; I just hope there’s enough space in the ballroom for me to crank and superman that hoe!” 

And crank that she may! A whopping 900 students will be allowed the pleasure of watching Soulja Boy perform on the grand Pauley Ballroom stage, while the rest may just have to kiss him through the phone. Doors open at 4 pm, and Jake Green, a student and member of the Soulja Army who will be camping out on Lower Sproul starting at noon, shared a comment. 

“Honestly I’m just excited to skip my classes for the day,” Jake explained with a shrug. “I deserve this little rush after two grueling weeks in Evans. My friends and I have always held hope that Soulja Boy will release new groundbreaking music, but I’m afraid this day may never come. I remember singing his underground classic ‘Pimp Slap Dat Hoe’ with these same buddies in elementary school, so we must take this opportunity to ask him.” 

Jake was then incredibly surprised to learn that in fact, Soulja Boy has released an unbelievable eight full albums within only the past three years. 

At press time, Soulja Boy declined an interview, stating that he requires a full 48 hours before his performance to “turn his swag on.”

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