BERKELEY, Calif. – After overhearing his roommates talk about attending the pre-Big Game Bonfire Rally without him, White Childish Gambino fan and generally disliked student Luke Nasdack sprinted from the other side of the room to ask if anyone mentioned the word “bonfire.”
“Did you know that I can rap all of Childish Gambino’s ‘Bonfire’ either censored or uncensored?” Nasdack yelled while breathing heavily and standing way too close. “Okay, it’s Childish Gambino, homegirl drop it like the NASDAQ. Move white girls like there’s coke up my asscrack. Move black girls ’cause, man, fuck it, I’ll do either…” he rapped with no apparent sense of rhythm or flow.
Nasdack’s roommates expressed their seething hatred for him.
“He is the most insufferable human being on earth,” explained roommate Jim Dunn. We have to whisper about our plans so he won’t try to invite himself in. He always tries to act calm and chill but when we hint that we just wanted to hang out without him, he’ll get really angry and scream about how he’s entitled to hang out with us because ‘the guys on the r/Fantano subreddit won’t so we have to.’ When he gets in this Childish Gambino trance, we have to just let him finish the song or else he starts biting.’’
Directly after finishing rapping the entire song in a new record of 20 seconds, Nasdack asked if anyone asked him to start rapping “Rap God,” which he subsequently did with no pause to wait for a response.