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Tag: Abhi Ganesh

Posted on March 12, 2024March 12, 2024 by: Abhi Ganesh

Kip’s Bouncer to Be Permanently Stationed Outside Moffitt to Prevent Underage Overeducation

BERKELEY, Calif. — “I’ll need to see some ID, please,” asserts Berkeley’s latest addition, Kip’s bouncer Chuck O’Hare. He stands brazen, shielding Moffitt Library’s main …

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Posted on February 22, 2024February 22, 2024 by: Abhi Ganesh

Sorry About All the Construction, Phineas and Ferb Are Building a Rollercoaster

BERKELEY, Calif.  —  Students returning to campus after break have been greeted by a constant jackhammering of Bancroft Way (possibly sponsored by the anti-public transit …

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Posted on September 21, 2023September 27, 2023 by: Abhi Ganesh

UC Berkeley #1 in Number of Templated Hackathon App Creators Calling Themselves ‘Founders’ on LinkedIn

BERKELEY, Calif. — After routinely residing at the top of reputable rankings lists such as bobsratings.com, BestSchoolz, and InflateMyEgo, UC Berkeley once again leaps ahead …

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Posted on July 1, 2023September 27, 2023 by: Tohar Zamir

Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Abject Suffering

WASHINGTON, DC. – Trumping their recent rulings on student debt relief, gay rights, and affirmative action, the Supreme Court decided unanimously in favor of “abject …

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Posted on February 24, 2023September 27, 2023 by: Abhi Ganesh

A Failure Of The Education System: This School Of Fish Has A 0% Literacy Rate

GULF SHORES, Ala.  — As states like Alabama and Mississippi ban the discussion of ‘divisive topics’ such as ‘not being homophobic’, America’s fragmented and nonuniform …

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