As campus roars back to life, sunbaked and unmotivated students return to the dreaded deluge of bMail notifications. With “Assignment Posted” subject lines nestled between …
Study Finds Most Successful Berkeley Student Just Robot With No Emotions, Hobbies, Family, Friends, Desires, Trauma, Opinions, or Values
BERKELEY, Calif. – Professors in UC Berkeley’s Department of Psychology appeared flabbergasted this past week when results of their research on characteristic success of Berkeley …
This Article Was Written Entirely by AI
BERKELEY, Calif. – After years of begging for disability accommodations, campus super senior Ash Jensen was miraculously cured of their chronic illness when their philosophy professor proclaimed that they were a failed econ quiz.