“I used to cough whenever I needed to, but I felt the white-hot wrath of hundreds around me,” Alison reported via Zoom, since no reporter wanted to get within a 500 foot radius of her. “I get a COVID test regularly. I can’t say for sure that I haven’t been exposed since testing negative yesterday though… Well, I know I don’t have it. I don’t, right? I— I just needed to cough super badly and I was able to suppress it for two and a half hours, so that means I can’t have it! I don’t! I just needed to cough, and now I have a serious heart issue. People should be happy that I saved them from possibly being exposed to whatever I have, though I know it’s not COVID.”
Pussy-Ass Students Still Want Mental Health Support for In-Person Instruction
BERKELEY, Calif. – As the Fall 2021 semester draws near, UC Berkeley students are vying for the continuation of the additional mental health awareness and …
Tang Center Free Zoom Therapy Session Just Link To Equally Helpful Youtube Fail Compilation
After a litany of complaints about the quality of such services (both in-person and online), Tang has made a bold, yet strangely fitting decision: in lieu of the three-time free thirty minute sessions offered to students, Tang has attached a link to a twenty-two minute America’s Funniest Home Videos Compilation.
DEAD BODY REPORTED: Cal Crewmate Suffering From Imposter Syndrome is Sabotaging Our Team
CAROL CHRIST (purple): Hello crew. Unfortunately, I am here to report that I found a dead crewmate in admin. I personally am able to do …