If you’re a freshman on campus, the meal plan that you were forced to buy likely includes flex dollars. You are probably wondering where on Earth you can spend this precious fake currency. Luckily, The Free Peach has compiled a list of the many convenient, delicious spots that will accept your flex dollars. Bon appétit.
“Voldemort went to Stanford,” boast the cheeky graphic tees that the Berkeley quidditch team loves to flaunt. What a fun gag, to pin He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as an alum of our university’s bitter rival. Ha! Ha! Ha! “Voldemort went to Stanford.” The quidditch team probably applauds themselves for this bit that actually sells – yes, people buy these shirts to wear, to declare their love of the magical world of Harry Potter and of their prestigious university! “Voldemort went to Stanford.” Have you ever even stopped to consider the implications of this analogy? “Voldemort went to Stanford.” Don’t you realize that your actions have consequences?
BERKELEY, Calif. — In a recently-leaked email, GBO Steering Committee chair Jeffrey Cass claimed that this year’s orientation has exceeded all prior expectations.
“Everybody should pat themselves on the back,” Cass wrote to other committee members. “The numbers show that we’ve knocked it out of the park. This year’s incoming freshman and junior transfers can find, on average, a whopping two buildings on campus, up 100% from last year! The typical freshman has walked nearly three marathons! And, of course, we should give special credit to Dr. O’Reilly’s Oski Defense Taskforce (ODT). Thanks to those extra-strength bear traps you set out, the beast (in all His glory) has only taken three freshmen for his annual sacrifice! Great job!”
Though recent vaccinations have catapulted Southside Berkeley into an era where the phrase “I know a brother” no longer doubles as a form of contact …
This is a serious diagnosis, and we want to give you all the help you need in discovering what he may be doing behind closed doors. You’re sexy and all, but you have to be honest with yourself – there are just some other things that get him off. Here’s a few signs that one of those things is our favorite tech mogul asswad, Elon Musk:
1. He is male
2. He is a white male
3. He is a straight white male
BERKELEY, Calif. – As the Fall 2021 semester draws near, UC Berkeley students are vying for the continuation of the additional mental health awareness and …
UC Berkeley is a big, scary place. As the school year approaches, many incoming freshmen may be filled with anxieties. Questions like “How am I going to handle in-person classes?” “What if I don’t make friends?” “What do I do with these two gallons of vegetable oil next to my bed?” may plague our new cohorts. We’re here to help qualm those specific fears, and no others. Here are our top seven packing do’s and don’ts for incoming freshmen. Go Bears!