Though recent vaccinations have catapulted Southside Berkeley into an era where the phrase “I know a brother” no longer doubles as a form of contact tracing, polls within the Interfraternity Council (IFC) community reveal dissatisfaction regarding vaccines’ effect on parties. 

“It’s outrageous! People shouldn’t be walking in, you know, feeling safe,” opined KA brother Brad McFarlane. “It was great – COVID added more of an edge to our parties. Like, you didn’t know what was going to happen when you walked in here. A few months ago, we didn’t have to acknowledge the reality of the millions dying around the world and the role our super-spreader events played in it all. Now we still don’t, but people aren’t as mad anymore!”

During the height of the pandemic, Cal fraternities were known for their absolute disregard for human life.

“It was awesome— you know, everyone locked down and all. Our house became like a haven from all that, an escape – a quarantine from the quarantine, if you will,” said SAE brother Josh Chokerty. “It was this place where you could get groped, roofied, AND catch a deadly virus, all in one night. We even ditched our bid-system to get more non-lame people to come. It was… just, all of us dancing, spraying our aerosols into the air and our drinks and our vape pens. A time. And now with these stupid vaccines, all we can spread are various other diseases.”

Some brothers even lament that the reduction of COVID-outbreaks has shifted the spotlight back to sexual misconduct among fraternity men. 

“COVID was, like, our way out, our ‘escape-goat’ or whatever you call it. People were so focused on that, we didn’t have to worry about getting put on probation and all. Now that the pandemic’s over, everything’s all about women’s safety again, not COVID safety – neither of which we ever had. But now everyone’s focusing on misconduct bullshit. It’s like, we have to, like, go back and start caring about women’s rights,” said Chokerty.

Despite their qualms, delta is helping Greek life look forward to a more dangerous future.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.