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‘Ryanair Is SO Cheap’ and 2 Other Ways to Act Like Your Spring Break in Europe Hasn’t Put You in Financial Ruin

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Tag: COVID-19

Posted on August 21, 2021October 7, 2021 by: lyamashir01

Cal Greeks Lament Vaccines for Making Frat Parties Safer

Though recent vaccinations have catapulted Southside Berkeley into an era where the phrase “I know a brother” no longer doubles as a form of contact …

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Posted on April 16, 2021May 6, 2021 by: Tyler Goldstein

Student Claiming Evans Hall Is Beautiful Diagnosed With Covid Due to Lack of Taste

Sophomore Mark Wright was immediately quarantined this morning following reports that he praised Evans Hall’s appearance.

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Posted on March 25, 2021May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

Unvaccinated Friend Group Posts Spring Break Photo Claiming to Be Vaccinated, Spits in Waitress’ Face

“Just me and the homies Chet, Juliette, Klett, and Cishett kickin’ it in the 305!” Bennett captioned a maskless Instagram photo of a crowded beachside bar.

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Posted on February 5, 2021May 6, 2021 by: Tyler Goldstein

Cal Football Announces 2021 Giveaways

BERKELEY, Calif. — With hopes of having Fall 2021 games be attended in-person, Cal football has announced its giveaway lineup. This upcoming season’s giveaways include …

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Posted on February 2, 2021September 22, 2021 by: jokimg

Bunny Think Why Oozma Kappa Still Throw Party Hmm?

I am Bunny. Bunny ouch. Bunny want play outside with Bunny friend. Mom stay inside keep Bunny and friend safe. Bunny settle upstairs couch with …

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Posted on December 8, 2020October 7, 2021 by: anniebushh

Entirety of US Surveillance State Gears Up for Upcoming CS 70 Final

BERKELEY, Calif. – With an eye turned toward looming final exams, Berkeley EECS administrators held a press conference Tuesday regarding their proctoring policy: “I’m sure …

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Posted on September 23, 2020September 23, 2020 by: The Free Peach

OPINION: Why My COVID Antibodies Make My Cum Taste Better

There are already SO many reasons why girls should give me head. To name a few: 1) because it feels good for me, 2) because …

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Posted on September 18, 2020September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

New Scientific Study Finds Coronavirus Immunity in Former FitTea Models

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — The novel coronavirus has presented innumerable uncertainties to the global population, with scientists and doctors worldwide scrambling to create a vaccine …

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Posted on September 15, 2020May 13, 2021 by: Daniella Rosen

President Trump Endorses Eighth Grader’s COVID-19 Fart Test

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to White House Chief Fart Correspondent William Barr, President Trump has officially come out in support of the COVID-19 Fart Test …

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Posted on September 10, 2020October 15, 2021 by: The Free Peach

Cal Fraternities to Reevaluate Bid System After COVID-19 Enters Uninvited

BERKELEY, Calif. — Berkeley Fraternity TKE held an emergency meeting to reevaluate the bid system following reports that COVID-19 entered 100 percent of their parties uninvited, …

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