Grab your stoles and champagne and head over to campus to capture this love and celebrate! Use these cute poses to show off your grad moments and incredible friend group to the world – excluding Jessica, of course.
Produce-Related Pickup Lines to Try On That Hot Cashier With the Gauge
Produce-Related Pickup Lines to Try On That Hot Cashier With the Gauge: Are you a vegan-chocolate-covered-raisin? Because I can think of a few things …
10 Things To Do During the 10 Minutes of Sexual Tension While Waiting for the 51B Across from Trader Joe’s
You do your usual business, wink back at the cashier, then make your way back to the bus stop on University Avenue. Your heart drops when you see four other twenty-something-year-olds wearing the same TJ’s tote bags by the same bus stop, all looking down on their phones. You arrive, and the sexual tension rises. Sound familiar?
I Put Trader Joe’s Everything but the Bagel Sesame Seasoning on an Everything Bagel and I Now No Longer Fear Death
I used to be like you. I used to underestimate the everything bagel. Pish posh, I thought like a character in some poorly-written Anglophile Wattpad …
5 Originals That Are Better Than Their Knockoffs (You Won’t Believe Number #3)
Everyone loves a good original idea. Except, when someone takes your original idea and copies it. Then everyone loves an unoriginal idea. Capitalism, am I right? But some copies are overhyped. Here are five examples of originals that are better than their overrated knockoffs.
5 Pairs of Statement Earrings That Say “I Only Dress Up For Trader Joe’s to Impress Other Hot Queers”
But you’re forgetting something. You turn around. How could you forget? How are they supposed to know that you, too, are not completely straight.
Trader Joe’s Shopper Unable to Find Bananas, Only “Sweet Yellow Potassium Curved Rods”
“THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I needed BANANAS and ORANGES, but instead, all I could find was a box of ‘Sweet Yellow Potassium Rods’ and a bag of ‘Sour Orange Citruses!’”
4 Creative Ways to Acquire a Trader Joe’s Sweatshirt Besides Giving a Stellar Blowjob
You have been positively dying for a chance to get your hands on a Trader Joe’s sweatshirt. The question is how to get your hands on one. While nobody should ever underestimate the power of a stellar blowjob — and if that is the course of action you choose then all the power to you, my fond, fellatio friend — but we do have some alternative methods so that all bases (interpret this metaphor as you wish) are covered.
Student Claiming Evans Hall Is Beautiful Diagnosed With Covid Due to Lack of Taste
Sophomore Mark Wright was immediately quarantined this morning following reports that he praised Evans Hall’s appearance.
Fuck it: Tonight, We’re Boning to “Busted” from Phineas and Ferb
I’ve popped open the champagne. I’ve dimmed the lights. “Busted” from Phineas and Ferb is still setting the mood, somehow.