10 Things To Do During the 10 Minutes of Sexual Tension While Waiting for the 51B Across from Trader Joe’s

You do your usual business, wink back at the cashier, then make your way back to the bus stop on University Avenue. Your heart drops when you see four other twenty-something-year-olds wearing the same TJ’s tote bags by the same bus stop, all looking down on their phones. You arrive, and the sexual tension rises. Sound familiar?

4 Creative Ways to Acquire a Trader Joe’s Sweatshirt Besides Giving a Stellar Blowjob

You have been positively dying for a chance to get your hands on a Trader Joe’s sweatshirt. The question is how to get your hands on one. While nobody should ever underestimate the power of a stellar blowjob — and if that is the course of action you choose then all the power to you, my fond, fellatio friend — but we do have some alternative methods so that all bases (interpret this metaphor as you wish) are covered.