Produce-Related Pickup Lines to Try On That Hot Cashier With the Gauge:


Are you a vegan-chocolate-covered-raisin? Because I can think of a few things other than dried-grapes that currently are-a-raisin’. 


Do you wear a red hawaiian shirt and work at the happiest place on earth? Because I’d very much like to have sex with you!


Oh, you noticed I’m buying garlic? Well I can think of something you can gar-lick…


I like my men like I like my dragon fruit – look like someone lit a torch to their outside, polka-dotted on the inside, and more than comfortable with the color pink. 


Heh, these potatoes I’m buying are great because you can use them however you want! They’re a lot like me in that way. 


Whipped cream and your 19-cent bananas make for a great split but I’d rather whip and ba-nae-nae all up on yo’ DICK. 


Are you the BYOB (bring your own bags) station? Because you’re hot and sweaty and stressful and lots of people like to stare at you while you move very slowly. 


Bag of Kale? More like hag of bale! OR more like kag of hale! Like hale-le-lujah I’m a fucking weirdo and your hot gauge earrings really stress me out want to go fuck in the storage closet? 


Are you NOT Trader Joe’s produce? Because you’re fresh and good quality!


Knock Knock! (Who’s there?) Trader Joe! (Trader Joe who?) Trader JOE MAMMA. 


I want to struggle to unpeel you like one of your unripe green bananas. 


I know you work here, so you know Joe himself? Because we should invite that motherfucker to have a three-way. 

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