Produce-Related Pickup Lines to Try On That Hot Cashier With the Gauge: Are you a vegan-chocolate-covered-raisin? Because I can think of a few things …
You do your usual business, wink back at the cashier, then make your way back to the bus stop on University Avenue. Your heart drops when you see four other twenty-something-year-olds wearing the same TJ’s tote bags by the same bus stop, all looking down on their phones. You arrive, and the sexual tension rises. Sound familiar?
Everyone loves a good original idea. Except, when someone takes your original idea and copies it. Then everyone loves an unoriginal idea. Capitalism, am I right? But some copies are overhyped. Here are five examples of originals that are better than their overrated knockoffs.
But you’re forgetting something. You turn around. How could you forget? How are they supposed to know that you, too, are not completely straight.
“THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I needed BANANAS and ORANGES, but instead, all I could find was a box of ‘Sweet Yellow Potassium Rods’ and a bag of ‘Sour Orange Citruses!’”
You have been positively dying for a chance to get your hands on a Trader Joe’s sweatshirt. The question is how to get your hands on one. While nobody should ever underestimate the power of a stellar blowjob — and if that is the course of action you choose then all the power to you, my fond, fellatio friend — but we do have some alternative methods so that all bases (interpret this metaphor as you wish) are covered.