Everyone loves a good original idea. Except, when someone takes your original idea and copies it. Then everyone loves an unoriginal idea. Capitalism, am I right? But some copies are overhyped. Here are five examples of originals that are better than their overrated knockoffs.
- Memorial Glade > The Green Opening by Barrows and Morrison
While the green opening by the weird Rugby statue is more secluded than the glade, it just isn’t the same vibe as its copycat. The college experience should be social. Who wants to have some privacy staring at the sunset or a literal redwood grove? The glade is crowded and full of 1000 people smoking in a non-socially distanced setting. You feel at college when you are there. Plus when you’re lying on the grass with your significant other dry humping, you want to make sure that you cause as many people as possible to be uncomfortable. The audience for your PDA is way larger at the glade.
- Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups > Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups
While Trader Joe’s innovative idea to wrap peanut butter in dark chocolate was fantastic, the Reese’s remake is far better. You feel healthy eating the dark chocolate and protein-packed peanut butter. Who wants to feel healthy when eating chocolate? This is America. Nothing beats milk chocolate Hershey crap and added sugar.
- The Black Sheep > The Free Peach
Even though The Free Peach does offer in-depth satirical content about the Berkeley college experience, it relies on articles for its humor. You have to actually read to get the jokes. What’s the Peach’s target audience, 4th graders? No one likes to read in the 21st century. The Black Sheep was way better when it existed because it was just memes that even a simpleton could understand. Kind of like Barstool Berkeley.
- Takis > Trader Joe’s Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips (Chili and Lime Flavored)
Look, Trader Joe’s Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips are absolutely heavenly. But, the real question is why are you eating them? Are you doing it for the taste? No. You’re doing it because you need a failsafe breakfast option to make sure you get massive diarrhea so you have a guilt-free excuse to leave class. Trader Joe’s Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips may unfortunately not upset your stomach. Takis guarantee dietary issues and are far better for dodging a boring discussion section.
- The Left Copy of My Editor Sam that We Used in the Incest Article > The Right Copy of Sam
While both copies of Sam have their merits, left Sam is the far better of the two. Right-Sam’s eyebrow is at a steep angle that intimidates me. Left-Sam gets me. He approves my articles and when I talk to him I can tell that he is really listening. His warm attentive eyes inspire hope and confidence. When he smiles at you, you are overwhelmed with a sense of purpose. Right-Sam is always like “I’m from a different dimension. Please help me get back home. I miss my friends and family. I don’t know how I got here.” He’s constantly talking about himself and never shuts up. Like, I have a family too.
- UC Berkeley > UCLA
HAHAHA sorry, I can’t even write this one. Imagine thinking UCLA is better than Berkeley. Clearly, there is no supremacy among colleges and what’s truly important is making sure everyone who wants a college education can get and afford one. Also, what’s a bruin? Talk about having a strange mascot. Thank gosh Berkeley has a normal one who doesn’t look like he touches children.