To celebrate the culmination of your four years of college, the university has decided to follow in the footsteps of Ticketmaster by price gouging its graduation tickets. But how can you determine if you should get $10, $15, $60, or no tickets for your family? Don’t worry, here’s a quiz to help you decide.
At press time, Chancellor Christ explained that in order to hire more advisors she would either need to limit the funding going towards research, housing, or lower her own salary. She further explained that all of these options are unacceptable and would go against Berkeley’s values, whereas brutally fighting the system in order to get advice is very much in line with Berkeley culture.
Not only am I part of a foreign species, frequently labeled as “invasive” or a “fire-promoter” or “ugly as fuck” or “something a CNR student wants to spit on, chop down, burn to a crisp, and drown in herbicide,” I also can’t even do what I was brought here for. I am a complete failure, I do not belong here.
BERKELEY, Calif. – Sophomore Bridget Martin wanted to be a computer science major, but due to the high tuition costs for out-of-state students, she has …
Here’s a drinking game to help you get through Dead Week and all of Carol T. Christ’s absolutely necessary emails.
BERKELEY, Calif. — Every registered voter at Cal over the age of 18 has an opportunity to vote by November 8th at 8:00 PM, and …
“First off, I have never cheated. Okay fine, once when I was younger I left my canvas page to look up the answers on an online math quiz, but I was like 19. I would never cheat on a midterm,” Kneeman said as he searched for answers for homework on Chegg. “Magnum is upset I beat him and is just hating on the underdog. The grade speaks for itself. And to all the people asking for me to go over my prep for the exam, that’s none of your business. I’m not even going to address the anal beads rumor. What, people really think I learned the entirety of morse code and had someone buzz the beads for each answer? That would require many hours of practicing in the Morrison bathroom from 4:00-5:30 p.m. PST – don’t be ridiculous.”
Are you actually graduating? Will you be able to function in a 9-5 work environment? Didn’t you start college like two weeks ago? What the fuck is going on? In honor of keeping up with the spooky senior spirit, here are 5 things scarier than seeing “View Graduation Checklist” on your CalCentral.
Scandal alert? Check out these 6 crazy things this ASUC Senator did (you won’t believe number 4!)
1. Eat an apple.
After throwing my hands behind my head, I realized that CalCentral actually wasn’t threatening to arrest me, but was inviting me to do the Cha Cha Slide. Now I’m no AFX member, but I will admit that I’ve been to my fair share of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. I patiently waited to be told to clap my hands and slide to the left, but to no avail — there was just silence.