BERKELEY, Calif. This past weekend, a disgruntled, first-time Trader Joe’s customer stirred the controversy as she was unable to find a single item that was on her grocery list at the College TJ’s. 

“THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I needed BANANAS and ORANGES, but instead, all I could find was a box of ‘Sweet Yellow Potassium Rods’ and a bag of ‘Sour Orange Citruses!’” the unidentified woman in her late thirties wearing Lululemon leggings and a “Live, Laugh, Love” shirt angrily tweeted to her thirteen, mostly inactive followers.  

We spoke to the Trader Joe’s cashier who was not paid nearly enough to deal with the situation. 

“Yeah, so I tried to explain to her that Trader Joe’s carries generic brand versions of food she’d find at a normal grocery store, but she didn’t seem very willing to take our Chocolate Cookie Sandwich with Cream in the Middle over the Oreos she came to get.”

Reports from witnesses at the store that day say that after berating the cashier, the manager had to step in and attempt to resolve the issue. However, he had worked at Trader Joe’s for so long, he actually wasn’t sure what some of the items on her shopping list, like “Cheez-its” or “Chex-Mix,” even were anymore.

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