WASHINGTON, D.C. According to White House Chief Fart Correspondent William Barr, President Trump has officially come out in support of the COVID-19 Fart Test after weeks of deliberating with three eighth graders Ellie Glatz, Logan Chu, and Jimmy Neutron who created the revolutionary technology for their local science fair. 

“We did a great thing here,” began Trump at the most recent 24-hour news conference, “These are kids, you know, they’re just kids…American kids, you know. And they’ve done a great thing here, a great thing, they’ve made their country proud.”

“We’ve done amazing things, I’ll tell you that. This test is going to change everything, it’ll be a game changer, it will change everything, I’ll tell you that,” Trump continued to the bewildered reporters. 

Following this brief update, President Trump welcomed the novel White House CoronaFart Task Force to the stage to provide a demonstration of the convenient at-home test. According to Chief FartMan Peter Navarro, all that is needed to perform the simple test “is Chipotle, preferably a burrito, although a salad bowl has been proven to be effective as well.” 

To take the test correctly, proceed as such:

  1. Have a companion, family member, or yourself (depending on flexibility) eat the entire Chipotle meal within 15 minutes. 
  2. Squat so that your nostrils reach their butt-level.
  3. Wait a few seconds to alleviate fart performance anxiety.
  4. Once the emission has been released, take a deep whiff. If you can smell the flatulence, then you are COVID-19 negative and free to return to normal daily activities. If you cannot smell anything, please quarantine for 1-2 weeks, then repeat the testing process. 

Although all scientists over the age of twelve have reportedly questioned the efficacy and safety of such a test, President Trump assured that it has been certified by the WFO (World Fart Organization) and that he personally has both received and performed the test multiple times, replying to critics by asserting that “whoever didn’t smell it… dealt it.” 

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