“We’re leveraging the potential of shovels in a way that’s never been done before,” said Diggs, his eyes gleaming with the light of a thousand PowerPoint presentations. “Our innovative approach will create unparalleled value for our customers while disrupting the traditional shovel market.”
Professor Outraged: Disabled Student Stuck in Elevator Doesn’t Even Show Up for Class
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a brazen move, CED junior Clarisa Flores has missed the first two weeks of classes after getting trapped in Wheeler’s elevator, …
Free Peach Advice: How Do I Deal With a Horrible Co-leader on a Team?
I joined a consulting club semesters ago and now I am one of the head officers on the core team. Unfortunately, I am utterly disgusted by my co-leader on the team on every level. What should I do?
BREAKING: Local Hero Realizes Disabled Students Exist
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a stunning revelation, campus sophomore and self-proclaimed social justice warrior Abel Isty discovered that disabled people are, in fact, present on …
The Most Accurate Horoscopes Ever
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will not have another birthday.
Student Miraculously Cured After Professor Deems Them “Not Really Disabled”
BERKELEY, Calif. – After years of begging for disability accommodations, campus super-senior Ash Jensen was miraculously cured of their chronic illness when their philosophy professor …