BERKELEY, Calif. — In a Turning Point USA-sponsored rant on Sproul Plaza, Berkeley mascot Oski condemned the left’s disdain for the second amendment, citing his own bodily autonomy.
“The right to bear arms shall not be infringed. Our founding fathers stood by this message, and now we find many in our nation threatening to disarm me—but why? According to the Declaration, all men (bears included) are created equal…endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights! Do I not deserve the same inalienable right to my arms—to hugging loved ones, making finger guns, snatching unwitting students off their feet for a midday snack?”
Oski’s rant continued on, listing the multitude of benefits that his arms provide. Although his argument began apolitical in nature, his rhetoric became increasingly inflammatory.
“These libsharts would rather see an innocent and—not to toot my own horn, but beloved—bear lose both arms than sacrifice their precious platform. Now, I’m not saying that’s something a satanic cabal would do… but that’s the general consensus I’m hearing around campus…”
Employees of the Golden Bear Cafe claim that Oski then spent the rest of his rant describing—and miming—the great difficulties that living armless would cause for himself and those around him.
After Oski’s public appeal towards conservatism, Turning Point USA’s Charlie Kirk released a public statement, backing the mascot’s claims.
“My bear friend makes an excellent point—for too long, we have let the Left spread the misinformation that weaponizing bears is ‘dangerous.’ They’ve said it’s ‘only acceptable on the scale we see today due to constant lobbying by immensely powerful bear interest groups.’ They’ve gone as far as to say that ‘even a literal toddler could recognize all the fallacies in mainstream pro-bear arguments today,’” Kirk claimed. “Well I’m here to thank you all for not being the sheeple that listen to propaganda like that, and instead educate yourselves thoroughly by watching me absolutely destroy unprepared college students in debates with misquoted sources. Keep thinking different!”
At press time, Oski was seen walking around campus in a tank top, repeatedly claiming “sun’s out, guns out.”