“After realizing that the Southside garbage trucks come seven days a week, and are far louder and more disruptive than the Campanile’s bells, we have decided to use them instead from now on.”
In Recognition of Midterm Season, Accommodating Professor Eliminates Recorded Song/Dance Component Of Mandatory Four Thousand Word Discussion Post
“Any other questions can be answered in my syllabus on my wife’s cousin’s website, in the ‘Extra Supplemental Materials’ folder on bCourses, or in a little treasure box buried in my backyard if you fuckers can find it.”
Vegan Co-Op Enjoys Delicious Meal of Quinoa, Beans, Quinoa, and Also Whip-Its
BERKELEY, Calif. – The vegan student cooperative house prepared an excellent meal the other night consisting of a quinoa salad appetizer and a quinoa bean …
Cthulu Sits On Campanile, Likes It
As he flailed he braced for pain, but was pleasantly surprised that the feeling of the Campanile in his rectum incredibly good.
Newly-Admitted Haas Students Organize Giant Celebratory Zoom Circle Jerk on Google Calendar
“It’s really about Questioning the Status Quo. Since we already cyber-bully each other — anonymously, of course — and pick-and-choose who we cheat with, who’s to say that we shouldn’t be open to a greater range of emotions and explore something other than the sticks up our asses?”
True Crime: I Put a Very Silly Hat on Top of Every Campus Building
I chase their dreams like a dog chasing cars. I put hats on top of each one. Silly hats. Absurd hats. Hell, I bet the Joker would call these “Normal Hats.” These are the buildings. Their hats are their stories.