BERKELEY, Calif. — The omnipotent cosmic being Chtulu was strolling through Berkeley when it tripped on the weird cement ledge thing that is by the cool triangular brick staircase in between the Campanile and Wheeler. Cthulu, caught off guard by the lack of steps below the cement block because it clearly looks like it will lead to a step, tripped and fell backward, causing his ass to be impaled by the Campanile. As he flailed he braced for pain, but was pleasantly surprised that the feeling of the Campanile in his rectum incredibly good. 

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