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Month: October 2023

Posted on October 6, 2023October 7, 2023 by: Tohar Zamir

Rich Friend Who ‘Owns an Island’ Just Has Upscale Kitchen

ALBANY, Calif.– In an age where extreme wealth has accumulated at the very top of the nation’s income distribution, Cal student Will Daly was shocked …

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Posted on October 5, 2023October 6, 2023 by: Tohar Zamir

Great Minds Think Alike? Professor Uses Restroom After Me

Reserve me a Nobel spot, book me a speaking tour, and stick me in the corner office; there’s irrefutable evidence that I’m a genius on …

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Posted on October 5, 2023October 5, 2023 by: Tohar Zamir

Berkeley Commemorates Anniversary of Free Speech Movement by Arresting Activists

BERKELEY, Calif.– In commemoration of the upcoming 59th anniversary of the Free Speech Movement, the City of Berkeley has capitalized on nostalgia for simpler times …

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Posted on October 5, 2023October 6, 2023 by: Jackie Greene

Report: Lecture Great Time to Get Literally Anything Else Done

BERKELEY, Calif. — After opening the discussion for questions during Tuesday’s lecture, Professor Gopal Jhaveri was left utterly speechless at the lack of speech from …

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Posted on October 3, 2023October 4, 2023 by: Jackie Greene

Bipartisan King? McCarthy Reaches Across Aisle to Get Both Sides to Hate Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following an excruciating nine month tenure, California Republican Kevin McCarthy has been ousted by his party members and enemies (which overlap quite …

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Posted on October 3, 2023November 3, 2023 by: valzzz

‘Social Impact Consulting’ and Three Other Ways to Only Sell Out Halfway

For many UC Berkeley students, being entrenched in capitalist society means a certain dilemma wreaks daily havoc on the psyche: financial security or having a …

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