BERKELEY, Calif.– In commemoration of the upcoming 59th anniversary of the Free Speech Movement, the City of Berkeley has capitalized on nostalgia for simpler times by broadly arresting and harassing activists. In light of the highly unpopular clearing of the Berkeley Chess Club and the brutal arrest of organizer Jessie Sheehan, Berkeley Police spokesperson Geoff Lewis highlighted their policies and values.
“When we were contacted by the property owner of the Monk Center for Anachronistic Media – that is, after we fined him $700 per day for ‘allowing people to congregate’ and ‘offering outdoor seating’ – we understood our commitment and assignment,” began Lewis, speaking to the press from an oak podium. “Our commitment was to protect and serve: to protect the interests of Berkeley landlords, and to serve eviction notices.”
Councilman Rigel Robinson, who has been heavily criticized for approving the Chess Club’s clearing, released a short statement to the press.
“As we face this moment together, let us remember the momentous shoes we fill in Berkeley’s history. We choose to follow in the footsteps of the Free Speech Movement and take those lessons as part of our city’s history from which to be inspired. Specifically, we saw those videos of jack-booted National Guardsmen injuring, policing, and terrorizing activists in our public spaces, and we understood that said practice is an important part of our heritage as the City of Berkeley.”
At press time, Mayor Jesse Arreguín was continuing to do absolutely nothing.