At the beginning of each new semester we face a recurring vicious problem, even worse than institutional racism and/or getting your socks wet. This problem is so fricking bad it makes me want to throw a little temper tantrum like I am some non-bald Cailou. I’m talking about the fact that everyone is going to class right now, and it’s really irritating me.
Alright, I get it. “New semester, new me. I’m going to actually attend class,” you’re all probably thinking right now. Wrong. Get these irresponsible thoughts out of your head. You are not paying thousands of dollars to get a higher education, you’re here to enroll in classes, tell yourself you’re going to them, skip them, and then cram super hard trying to catch up the day before midterms. Please, listen to your inner demons. Don’t change your ways, because I refuse to sit in another fully-packed lecture hall where kids are paying attention and I can’t feel superior to everyone else merely by attending class.
As a long-term victim of this systemic issue (I’m a second semester freshman), I say enough is enough. Instead of reckoning with the effects of over enrollment and a lack of funding for lecturers and GSIs, I want to be able to ignore that by just not having to visibly notice the thousands of students on this campus. And even though we’re in “Biden’s America,” I think this is a very reasonable thing to ask.