BERKELEY, Calif. — Activists at the University of California, Berkeley have found that the Free Speech Movement’s efforts of the past 60 years have been erased by Wario Savio, the longtime nemesis of late movement leader Mario Savio. 

“Wehaha,” Wario Savio told demonstrators on Sproulfino Plaza. “I will be Wario Number One with facts, logic, and a blue shell! Weh! Denying a ticketed forum to publicly-detested millionaires who require expensive security is the same as censoring college students who want to form their own political groups! My a-princess says it’s bad to have a wet vagina! Weh!”

The sudden derailing blindsided campus administrators. 

“By the time we realized what Wario Savio had done, it was too late,” lamented Campus Vice Chancellor of Free Speech Baby Mario Savio, who is now forty-eight years old. “He conducted a series of rapidfire minigames where he baited outrage by saying awful things, then claimed that his opponents were intolerant for not tolerating his intolerance. Worse yet, he did it all with rancid garlic breath!”

Student activists, including Communist student collective The Red Shell, have openly criticized Wario Savio’s attack on the principles of the Free Speech Movement.

“It’s kind of petty for this guy to show up and start shit-talking his long-deceased rival,” said Red Shell President Dixie Kong. “He’s acting like showing up at a private venue and demanding an audience is some kind of superstar invincibility. Obviously people are going to get mad at him. It’s like he drove into his own banana peel and wants to blame everybody else for it.”

At press time, Wario Savio was seen warping into the steam grate on Memorial Glade to escape campus.

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