BERKELEY, Calif. — Tuesday morning, Media Studies student Karina Jansen was shocked to discover that watching a two-hour long video essay titled “How Riverdale Changed TV Forever” was against the device policy for her sociology class.
“There I was, left Airpod nestled snugly in my ear, when my GSI Tanner taps me on the shoulder and says ‘It doesn’t look like you’re dissecting the ways in which Hollywood ties into globalization,’” Jansen recalled, sitting in Moffitt with an empty Yerba Mate can and X (formerly known as Twitter) pulled up on her laptop screen. “First of all, mind your business! Second of all, I’m taking this class as a media studies elective — is a Riverdale video essay not a way of studying the media?! Sorry that Tanner can’t understand the nuanced critique of Betty Cooper having to perform a striptease to join the Southside Serpents as a parallel for the conditions that women face in the 21st century, but some of us have media literacy skills.”
Jack Smith, current head of the BAMPFA Student Committee film department and avid Letterboxd Patron subscriber, shared similar sentiments.
“There’s a sense of beauty in the art form that is the video essay that can’t be found elsewhere. You see, most people don’t actually know this, but there’s always a deeper meaning behind any medium of film — a commentary on the political and economic state of the world. Take for instance, Oldboy, which is clearly a testament to the strength of a father-daughter relationship,” said Smith, whilst holding a Marlboro to his lips but not inhaling. “But I don’t just watch video essays to brush up on theory. I watch them because they take me somewhere I’ve never been before. I’m not just entertained, but somehow…reborn.”
When asked if he was recycling lines from actress Nicole Kidman’s AMC advertisement, Smith refused to comment.
In response to claims of censorship, GSI Tanner Lee is rallying for new restrictions barring anyone with a septum piercing and a limited edition Nalgene from enrolling in his section.
“These kids are fucking stupid,” said Lee, adjusting the vintage 1970s deadstock satchel bag on his shoulder. “We as a society have evolved past the need for discourse over the ethical ramifications of the 75th Hunger Games. If only they put this much thought into their discussion posts…”
At press time, Jansen and Smith were spotted recording their first video for their joint Youtube channel, entitled “Why Is No One Talking About the Horrible Example Euphoria Set for Gen Alpha?”