Ok, Ok, hear me out. I know I’m writing this in late April. So what? You’re probably saying, “oh, isn’t the deadline in like five days? You can’t finish a 30 page paper by then.” But, that’s where you’re wrong. See, I actually haven’t started the thesis yet. So, technically, there can’t be a deadline for it if there is no “it.” Do you understand what I mean???
I don’t think we’re on the same page here. Let me break it down even further, so we don’t get our wires crossed. I came up with an idea in January. I started none of it. I talked to my thesis advisor twice and he does NOT like that I always smell like tuna and mayonnaise when I enter his ill-ventilated office. I created a Google Doc that has zero words in it, and to be clear, a Google Doc does not count as starting. That is what they said in the rule book I wrote up to justify this.
What’s my thesis on? Well, here’s the beauty of that—I don’t know. And actually, it takes a truly intelligent person to admit what they don’t know. We live in a frickin social media bubble where everyone’s on LinkedIn pretending they know what they’re going to do with their lives. But here’s the truth, which only I am brave enough to expound upon, it is actually way better to not know than to know, you know? This is what I’ve been saying on my Youtube Shorts podcast, if you actually followed me back.
So, in summation, to summarize, I have no thesis at all and that is a good thing because it shows my uniqueness and understanding of the greater message of mankind. People say that I’m a hero or that I’m brave, but I’m just me. This is the part where you play the Michael Bay movie ending music and then I walk out as a giant fire explodes around me. What do you mean this is an article and not a feature film that’s going straight to Tubi?