Not only am I part of a foreign species, frequently labeled as “invasive” or a “fire-promoter” or “ugly as fuck” or “something a CNR student wants to spit on, chop down, burn to a crisp, and drown in herbicide,” I also can’t even do what I was brought here for. I am a complete failure, I do not belong here.
Slay Queen! I Just Committed Regicide!
SHAKESPEAREAN LONDON, England — Here ye, here ye, thou doth not yet heard of the news, the queen is dead, and someone just confessed. “Slay queen! I just committed regicide!”, said thee O murderer Agatha Dick.
The Disgusting Truth: bCourses Confetti From Assignment Submission Not Compostable
In an age of increasing global climate catastrophe, environmental destruction, mass extinction, and degradation of human health, you’d think that the University of California, Berkeley …
Opinion: Where The Fuck is Barker?
The semester started like every other: I swear that I’ll go to lecture. I miss my bus that was seven minutes late. I curse fate for inhibiting learning that I truly value and show up for. I pull up CalCentral 10 minutes before class to make sure all my classes are in Dwinelle like usual. That is, until I see it: Rhetoric-103B, Barker 101.
Too Woke? This Poli Sci Class Is Making Me Wake Up at 8:00 AM
At 8:00 AM, I don’t even have the energy to rebut every single one of the Professor’s points or talk over all of my female classmates. How can I be an effective student of politics if I’m too sleep-deprived to explain why straight white men are the most oppressed group in America?
Maturity? I Framed One of My Posters
“It’s like watching my son go through puberty in one night – from little league straight to whacking home-runs on more steroids than contained in an asthmatic inhaler,” stuttered my hornswoggled housemate, Dylan Hamuy. “I mean you should have seen the state of the room before this; it was a tasteful, subdued mix of stolen traffic signs and FedEx-printed low-res jpegs pasted to the walls, with some under-exposed polaroids peppered in for flavor. But now? We’re looking at the big leagues. That’s right, frames have hit the room!”