If you’ve been subject to strange weather reports warning of an impending snowstorm barraging locals with a flurry of white flakes, my bad!
Academy Award for Best Actor Goes to Me, Pretending to Have Done the Reading for Today’s Section
“It is my sublime personal pleasure,” Yang articulated, “to present this award for Best Actor to the student who gave the most convincing performance in their role as, ‘Person Who Read the Assigned Pages for Class Today.’ The award goes to… Tohar Zamir!”
Double, Double Toil and Trouble: I Dissolved my Diva Cup in a Pot on the Stove
To prepare, I set my large cast iron rounded pot on the fire in my backyard and began filling my pot with various brews (water). My two closest friends (proximity-wise, not emotionally), came to join me (they left their rooms, we are roommates).
Danger Alert: This DKE Member Just Called You ‘The GOAT’
It’s a Saturday afternoon and you’re popping 3’s on the basketball court like a fucking demon when all of a sudden Bryce from DKE yells, “Jesus Christ, [insert your name here], you’re the fucking GOAT!”
OPINION: It’s Okay If You Have to Stop and Tie Your Shoes
Picture this in your noggin. You’re walking with your friends in a horizontal line so it’s really annoying for people to bypass you and then, …
OPINION: Why is it Called ‘Sweater Weather’ When it Hasn’t Rained Sweaters in Over 50 Years?
It’s that time of the year again – leaves falling off shivering trees, rain and clouds keeping a perpetually gray sky, temperatures dipping so low …
OPINION: February 29th Exists, It’s Just 5’6” and Does Improv. You Just Need to Get To Know Him Guys, He Has a Nice Personality
Great. You’ve done it again. Another year of acting like I don’t exist. What do you call it again? A “leap” year? I’m literally 5’6”, …
OPINION: You Think You Have Imposter Syndrome? I’m an Invasive Plant.
Not only am I part of a foreign species, frequently labeled as “invasive” or a “fire-promoter” or “ugly as fuck” or “something a CNR student wants to spit on, chop down, burn to a crisp, and drown in herbicide,” I also can’t even do what I was brought here for. I am a complete failure, I do not belong here.
Slay Queen! I Just Committed Regicide!
SHAKESPEAREAN LONDON, England — Here ye, here ye, thou doth not yet heard of the news, the queen is dead, and someone just confessed. “Slay queen! I just committed regicide!”, said thee O murderer Agatha Dick.
The Disgusting Truth: bCourses Confetti From Assignment Submission Not Compostable
In an age of increasing global climate catastrophe, environmental destruction, mass extinction, and degradation of human health, you’d think that the University of California, Berkeley …