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Posted on November 3, 2026 by: Audrey Ryder

Unemployed Haas Man Votes No on 40, Claims He “Could See Himself as a Billionaire by Next Year”

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Posted on February 23, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

What Font Should Your Murderer Forge Your Suicide Note In?

Specifically, what font should your murderer forge your suicide note in to be most realistic? Just curious! No ulterior motive here! Take our quiz to find out!

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Posted on February 21, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

Nobel Laureate Ghost Pledging [Redacted]

If a rule is broken in a fraternity and it doesn’t cause national outrage, is it really broken at all?

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Posted on February 20, 2019December 2, 2022 by: The Free Peach

Is Everything Fucking Falling Apart, Or Is It Just February?

But wait, is everything fucking falling apart, or is it just February?

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Posted on February 20, 2019February 23, 2019 by: The Free Peach

10 Best Places On Campus To Find Out You’ve Got Chlamydia

Seeing as your unscrupulous urinary tract saw some prodding recently, we’ve aggregated a list of the best places to find out that your Tang Center-sponsored STD test came back 100% positive for Chlamydia. Clap Clap.

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Posted on February 20, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Sarah Cassell

Lucky Us: We Got Our Hands On A Media Studies Problem Set!

Lucky, lucky us! It’s not every day you get to see such a difficult and time-consuming piece of work. 

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Posted on February 19, 2019 by: The Free Peach

QUIZ: Are You 48-Year-Old Piedmont Mom Janice or Just a CorePower Regular?

After frequenting CorePower enough, it’s become impossible to tell whether you’re just a newfound yogi or Janice Parker, a 38-year-old mother of two from Piedmont …

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Posted on February 19, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

Taio Cruz Defined The Year 2009 and if You Disagree with Me You’re Wrong

However, there was one year that was the highlight of my time chaperoning: 2009. Why you may ask? Because that was the year that Taio Cruz released the song Dynamite, and changed the face of middle school dances for all of 2009.

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Posted on February 18, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

UC Berkeley Is SILENCING Our Organization by Not Letting Us Use a Room We Didn’t Reserve (by Jayonnaise Rutherford III)

It is the responsibility of this school to let any organization host events anytime, anywhere on campus at a moment’s notice, and failure to do so is a violation of the First Amendment, the Non-Aggression Principle, and our very civil rights.

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Posted on February 15, 2019September 25, 2019 by: The Free Peach

4 Sex Positions to Try Before You Find Out He’s Republican

Here are four sex positions to make you feel fleetingly alive before your life-force is eradicated by the realization that you boinked someone who voted third-party “on principle”!

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Posted on February 15, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

Breaking: Rhetoric 103B Professor Masks Valentine’s Day Loneliness with Marxist Gusto

PSA: After the first few weeks of class, a number of seats have opened up! It’s not too late to sign up for Rhetoric 103B and be even closer to that coveted humanities degree that employers are dying to see!

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