QUIZ: Should You Go Out Tonight or Should You Question the Meaning of Human Existence Alone in Your Room Like a Sad Little Loser?

Happy Friday! Woo hoo! Finally, after a long, hard week, you can let loose. Tonight is all about having a good time. Like those people you overheard earlier talking about some ‘big party.’ That sounds fun! Maybe you should go? It could be awesome. But it could also be super lame. Don’t worry: just take this quiz.

BREAKING: Everyone in This Lecture Hall Saw You Trip When You Got Into Your Seat and We All Thought It Was Super Embarrassing and We Will All Remember It for the Rest of the Semester

“I had a huuuge crush on this person for the first week of class,” Sophomore Isaac Newton reports. “They were really hot, endlessly cool, and seemed like they could never make such a silly mistake as tripping on the backpack that the person next to them left in the middle of the fucking row, for some reason. But they did! And now I’m so glad that I will never approach them or compliment them or include them in the thousand-person group chat we have that shares all of the correct answers to every homework assignment.”