Welcome back to campus! There’s nothing quite like putting your own personal touch on your room as you decorate for the upcoming semester – but what to do when there’s no full-length mirror? How will you know what you look like?? Worry not! Here are 4 incredible mirrors that will do more than simply display your reflection. They will make you question what you look like on a level that transcends normality and may even incur the presence of a therapist. Cheers!
1. The floor mirror.
Oh, floor mirror. How simple – it requires no command hooks, no nails or screws, no need to hang it against a door or a wall. It stands tall, always dignified, always ready. Its upward angle encompasses your entire body in its reflection. This angle also lengthens you so that you look like an image someone made disproportionately taller, like a stretched out version of yourself. The floor mirror may have you believing you look disastrous, or it may have you believing you have the physique of a 2008 Victoria’s Secret Angel. It will either dissolve your confidence, or bolster it to the point where you surpass egotistical. The floor mirror-induced god complex has been the focus of an extensive, decades-long study to which scientists have finally determined a conclusion: the unbridled confidence the floor mirror may imbue now merits its designation as a Class 4 weapon. Please, proceed with caution.
2. The wavy full-length mirror.
Woah. Can I just take a second to say… you’re not like other girls. You have vines hanging in your room, you like sports, you think music sounds way better on vinyl. You thrift, and you make that fact about yourself very known. Bottom line is: you’re different. So you need a mirror that matches your alternative vibe, a mirror that appeals to you for its quirks. There is no better fit than the wavy mirror. Not only is it unique, it will make you feel like you just moved into a funhouse at a carnival. Are you three inches shorter today than you were yesterday? Have your arms always been that long? This mirror will bring you to your knees and drag you to a place in your mind so deep, only one question will remain, clanging like a bell, unrelenting: Is your wavy mirror reflecting a straight world… or are you living in a wavy world, with a mirror to match?
3. The round desktop mirror.
Have you ever wanted to look at your face, but in a way that highlights every possible flaw and enlarges them so grandly that you’re honestly getting clearer visuals than if you were to use a lab-grade microscope? The desktop mirror is for you! Don’t waste your time with the full-length look when you can hyperfocus on tiny blemishes that no one else would ever notice. The round desktop mirror will have you picking at your skin until it becomes a habit and questioning things like whether or not waxing your nostrils is something you should look into. Your body dysmorphia may be kept in check, but will you remember how your face looks from a distance greater than 2 feet away? Only time will tell!
4. The classic: the full-length mirror with a white frame.
Tried and true, this mirror goes with any set of decor. Not only does it fit into your living space on an aesthetic level, it will fit right into your daily routine of checking yourself out before you head to class. This will be really fun for you, because every day, you will look completely different. You may begin to feel completely different every day too. With time, you will notice that the mirror responds best to kindness. Rainy weather makes the mirror grow displeased. The mirror will become your best friend, and your worst enemy. The mirror appreciates words of affirmation, and birthday cards. The mirror is both an abstract thought and a tangible thing, hanging right there on your closet door. The mirror does not know any rules, therefore it does not obey any rules. Light and gravity bend to it; it is the singular exception to Einstein’s theory of special relativity. The mirror costs $7.00 from Target.