BERKELEY, Calif. — Right-wing political commentator Matt Walsh caused a stir at UC Berkeley this Thursday during a particularly heated debate with an empty chair during his talk on tour with the Young America’s Foundation. 

“I am a staunch advocate for free speech,” purported Walsh, addressing the audience. “I love debating and engaging with people, especially when the conversation flows two ways. Political discourse should be about the truth, the whole truth, and nothing at all about the truth — or whatever we Americans say.”

After his speech, Walsh opened the floor for discussion among an incredibly diverse and lively audience who appeared to have dressed up identically as rows of vacant chairs. Walsh spoke candidly about his political views during a particularly passionate debate with an audience member.

“                                                                                                                     ,” asked seat 3B, obviously pressing Walsh to explain his denial of the concept of gender after he presented a 2 hour documentary about gender.

“This is a prime example of the left not allowing room for honest political debate. I’ve barely finished my point and you’ve already spoken loudly over me with inflammatory, anti-American rhetoric,” responded Walsh, wiping tears from his eyes as he continued his rebuttal. “Thanks to sensitive liberal snowflakes, we are allowing trans people to be autonomous, whole people with rights… and I won’t be able to live in a world like that,” he continued, as he started to tremble and shake.

While most audience members were not metaphysically able to comment on the event, a singular member from the Berkeley College Republicans, a student club respected for their lack of campus presence, expressed his enjoyment.

“The turnout was a lot better than expected! You could feel the cold air fill up the room, and the seats were so filled that the crowd looked like an identical sea of people!” said student Watt Malsh, who sat particularly close to Walsh during the event and gazed lovingly into his sullen, soulless eyes. “He’s really made his mark on campus, and this event will surely go down in history as one of the most successful events we’ve ever hosted. He absolutely obliterated that sad liberal seat — it didn’t even have a rebuttal after Matt responded.”

At press time, Matt Walsh was still fielding questions in the auditorium, engaging in debate with seat 3C, 3D, that empty square of the stage, and his own podium.

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