BERKELEY, Calif. – Berkeley Middle students and faculty were pleasantly surprised when they toured UC Berkeley this Thursday and found the student body especially friendly, …
Chick Magnet? Five Bible Study Groups Asked For My Number
I know, even I’m shocked. In a place as gloom and doom as UC Berkeley, it’s hard to attract people organically nowadays. I’ve tried every …
Shocker: This Nobel Prize Laureate Is Pretty Shit at Teaching
“Teaching students is my part-time job – I’d rather work with my GSIs on groundbreaking research than explain basic supply and demand over and over again to these 19-year-old imbeciles,” asserted McCarthy. “Education, especially in economics, should be gatekept from those who don’t have the capacity to understand everything on the first try. Call that perfect competition.”
Student Blown Away by Consulting Club Promo
BERKELEY, Calif. – Amid the buzz and crowds of tabling at UC Berkeley, eyewitnesses on Tuesday reported Berkeley freshman Otis Jennings flying approximately ten feet …
Feminist Flyered on Sproul by Sorority Secretly ‘a Little Bit Flattered’
BERKELEY, Calif. – As UC Berkeley enters a new semester, fraternities and sororities have been scanning Sproul Plaza for visually-promising spring recruits. Sophomore and feminist …
Berkeley Student Unable to Enroll in Happiness Until Phase 2
BERKELEY, Calif. – Berkeley senior Cameron Hall found himself in a predicament faced by many when he was unable to enroll in basic human happiness …
Exciting! Rihanna Explores Another New Career Path by Pursuing Music
LOS ANGELES – Robyn Rihanna Fenty, most commonly known as Rihanna, demonstrated her entrepreneurial spirit again by venturing into an industry she’s never explored before – the music industry.
Matt Walsh DESTROYS Liberal Empty Seat at UC Berkeley Event
After his speech, Walsh opened the floor for discussion among an incredibly diverse and lively audience who appeared to have dressed up identically as rows of vacant chairs.
OPINION: Sorry I Didn’t Pay the Rent, I Have an Avoidant Attachment Style
I appreciate that she’s a great texter but it’s not my fault I’m avoiding her. To put it succinctly: I run away when people get close to me.