As the semester comes to a close, the official UC Berkeley seal outside Moffitt has sadly reported it received no physical contact this past year and that students were actively avoiding it. Though ideally seeking a hug, the seal has stated that even being stepped on by a fresh Reebok would be a pleasurable alternative.
Lack of End-Of-Semester Photo Dump Positively Correlated With Being a Fucking Loser
“While this might have been something that was intuitive, it was truly eye opening to see a concrete association between being a socially inept, uninteresting, unappealing, isolated, lonely individual and lacking a photo dump.”