BERKELEY, Calif. – Following the success of UC Berkeley’s Taylor Swift Appreciation Club, a group of the absolute most depressed, melancholy queer people on campus …
CalCentral Places Affectionate Hold on Accounts Just in Time for Valentine’s Day
BERKELEY, Calif. — In a romantic gesture that has stirred hearts across UC Berkeley, the campus’s online administrative portal, CalCentral, has begun placing “affectionate holds” …
Do They Love You Or Did They Just Respond To Your Discussion Post?
BERKELEY, Calif— In a discussion assignment for her Political Science class last Thursday, second-year Sarah Candle responded to fellow classmate Ryan Bower’s discussion post in what absolutely must have been a romantic gesture.
Explaining his totally logical and not insane jump towards being in love with her, Ryan reports: “What else could this mean? I mean, what type of sane person would respond to, let alone acknowledge my political takes unless they were in love with me? Does defending corporate buybacks make me a bootlicker since they come at the direct expense of any productive investment that might actually benefit me? No. It makes me a patriot. Finally, someone recognizes me for the genius I am.”