As we continue to reject the limitations of gender and the patriarchy, I pose the question: why have men been denied their inalienable right to dress like a massive slut for Halloween?
It is time, I say, to break through this glass ceiling! (It’ll be easy for me to reach because I’m 6’6”, in case you’re curious.) My mission is to see a bulge on every “Sexy Nurse,” “Sexy Maid,” “Sexy Oski” and “Sexy Carol Christ” strutting down Frat Row.
Personally, my outfit will consist of a “sexy GSI.” I’ll wear assless grey sweatpants, knee high Nike socks, knockoff Adidas slides, a cropped Cal hoodie, and some Burt’s Bees tinted lip balm. I’ll attend every party with a stack of students’ papers I don’t intend to grade on time, and I’ll play hard to get by making people email me for a link to my Office Hours before talking to me.
Catch the eye of that “ethereal bisexual” with your Slutty Obama (with matching tight tan suit), put the 207th bone in the human body with your scanty skeleton costume, or team up with your friends to do matching sexy Impractical Jokers (we all know Murr is the hottest).
Wanton sexualization of women has created a toxic and dangerous environment for people assigned female at birth. Instead, we need to combat the stigma of sexuality by proudly letting our nuts sway in the cool October breeze, bare our cheeks to the wind, and show that men too can dress like a total slut for Halloween.
Image courtesy of BuzzFeed.