Wait, stop! I thought I told you not to read this. Didn’t you read the title of the article? UGH, I can’t believe you’re still reading even though I specifically asked you not to! You’re EMBARRASSING me!


How can I be expected to write a coherent or interesting article with you reading what I’m writing? I don’t even know what to say! STOP it!! This is basically voyeurism!!!


Do you have any idea how hard it is to type right now with my feet pointed inward and my hands covering my face? Gosh, you don’t even get it do you? My voice cannot physically achieve anything louder than a whisper!


Paragraph five? UGH! This is the worst day of my life. Leave me alone! Stop reading this, please! I’m gonna ask you to stop one. More. Time. PLEASE, for the love of GOD, stop reading this; I’m TOO SHY!!!


It is I, Asmodeus, demon ruler of the Nine Hells, commander of the hordes, and purveyor of lust. All will bow before me. I have come to unleash my wrath upon these earthly creatures and at last claim control of this sickly, pathetic place. Humanum quis sustulit Verionis palliolum sive res illius, qui illius minus fecit, ut illius mentes, memorias deiectas sive mulierem sive eas, cuius Verionis res minus fecit, ut illius manus, caput, pedes vermes, cancer, vermitudo interet, membra medullas illius interet.


I’m so embarrassed, oh my gosh. Don’t even look at me. I can’t believe that you’re still reading this. OKAY fine. You win. I’m just going to stop writing since you won’t stop reading. Ugh! Goodbye forever.


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