THE INTERNET — UC Berkeley sophomore Kevin Nguyen mistook his lab group’s shared need to pass ME 108 for something more this week.

“Haha hey, do you come here often 😉 ?” Kevin wrote in the exact location where his project partner was typing.

Project partner Joy Chen was quick to gently dismiss Kevin. 

“Yes, actually, I do!” Joy responded on the Google Doc. “This project is due in 2 days! I’ve been working on this document everyday for the past week! Why haven’t you been here more often?!”

“Well if you wanted to see me more you should have just asked lololll,” replied Kevin. 

Kevin reported an ability to read the situation.

“Damn I thought she was going to play hard to get, but it’s so obvious she wants me,” Kevin revealed during his third Twitter-scrolling break of the past hour. “Honestly this is so easy I’m not even sure if I’m into her anymore. Where’s the chase? Where’s the tension? I feel like the mystery is gone.”

Joy  expressed a similar lack of interest in further banter with Kevin . 

“I literally just want him to work on this project,” exclaimed Joy in a rant to hear headphone-clad roommate. “It’s worth 20% of our grade! When he asked me if I wanted to be project partners, I knew he wasn’t going to do shit, but I didn’t know how to say no. I have so many regrets.”

Despite the lack of reciprocity, Kevin was willing to reconsider his prior statement. 

“Then again, there is this kind of connection when your cursors cross over each other,” Kevin rambled. “It’s one of those situations where you know it’s going to happen, but it’s just a matter of when. Should I ask her if she wants to smoke and watch a movie tonight?”

Joy is currently running on 4 hours of sleep over the past 48 hours, 3 Yerba Mates, and honey bunches of oats cereal. She hasn’t changed her clothes or taken out her contacts for 2 days. The project is kinda shitty. Pray for Joy.

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